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Farewell - 2006-03-15 |
2001-12-25 - 12:57 a.m. The Christmas Spirit... A couple days ago my mother and I were digging through our attic. We were cleaning out all the old toys, clothes, and empty picture frames for a mass donation she and I started. My father was getting a little anxious as we were going through a lot of his things and mother didn't feel it necessary to consult him on any of it. She handed me one of my old stuffed animals. I hugged it longing for the past when that silly stuffed bear of mine seemed magical. What happened to the magic of childhood? But more important was the question: What has happened to the magic of Christmas this year? Curious as to my mother's outlook (she can be insightful at times) I asked her. "Well," she said, "I think everyone is having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Recent events have really shaken the heart of our nation. A lot of my friends have told me they just don't feel like celebrating Christmas this year. Of course, you haven't been in the Christmas spirit for a few years now." I didn't tell her, but what she said hurt me rather deeply. Mostly because what she said is not true, though to her it is. Our definition of "Christmas Spirit" is different to a greater extent than what I imagined. Gather Christians! For I Challenge Your Faith! This evening I attended the Christmas Eve service at a church here in Bloomington. This was a big step for me seeing as last year I didn't go do to the fact that I am not a Christian. Christianity is a wonderful thing. It has mellowed a bit over the past couple hundred years so that now it is more important to give of yourself instead of hord everything. Turn the other cheek. And such. A Christian seems to be everything that is good. Or at least they should be. But then you have these people who go to church, sing the hymns and then turn around and do the cruelest thing possible to another human being. And yet they label themselves as Christians. Dear Followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, I beg of you not to let them do that to your beliefs. Don't let them give you a bad name. It seems to me that many people take the vow of belief but do not practice what is preached to them. My mother, at times, is a prime example of this. She is a middle class citizen, and don't get me wrong I love her dearly, but yet she doesn't donate (often), doesn't volunteer and says that she must work because she is in debt (and with two college kids I understand) but yet she can still go out and buy a new TV because she can't read what's on the television. Give on to others. There was a man standing out front of a near by Wendy's holding a cardboard sign that read "Family hungry. Will work for food." My mother and brother drove on by without giving him a second thought. "Well where's his family?" My mother asked at dinner. "There are a couple food shealters in town. They should just go there and make use of it." "Mom," I said "The community kitchen is clear on the otherside of town. It's not easy to get there. Even if you did have money for the bus." "I suppose you're right," she said. My father continued the conversation with the story of how when he dropped my brother and I off to work at the food bank a man, his wife, and three kids came walking up and were turned away. They had walked across the town to find the community kitchen but came to the food bank instead. My father gave them a ride. And yet, as soon as the meal was over, everyone went back to "that was a good meal! Can't wait for Mom's birthday dinner tomorrow! Lobster!" I sat there and watched them. I refused to let my father take my plate away. I bowed my head and gave thanks for what I had. A lot of times I know I don't realize what I have because the world is a busy place. But I have a place to sleep. A warm house. Pleanty to eat. More than enough clothes and I have the nerve to complain when things don't go my way. I make myself sick at times. I am not a Christian. I am what some call "a child of nature." I believe in the spirits of the earth and follow the beliefs of a few Native American tribes. And for this my mother labels me as an atheist. On the contrary. I do believe in a creator, an all powerful being. Just as she does. The same one. Only a different name. What she calls "God" I call "Great Spirit." What difference does the name make? He is still the same. Still performs the greatest tasks. Still deals with the same problems, same people. A person is not defined by their name or their job. They are defined by who they are and the Great Spirit, God, is no different. They say God comes in many mysterious ways. I am labeled as the black sheep in my family because I see him in different ways. While they look for miracles, I see him in the Eagle that flys, the wolf who howls, and in the smiles and goodness of people. Jesus is what Christmas is all about. It is a celebration of Christ's birth. A celebration of his life and the knowing that he died for man's sake. I know in my heart that Jesus exsisted and did many wonderful and great things. But I ask you this... do you honestly believe that any good man, woman, or child, would not die for the sake of all human kind? If you gave me the choice, I would live his life. There is no reason not to. He is a moral example and a good man. Even power hungry people, I believe, would choose to follow Jesus if they could. To know taht they could be worshiped till earth sees its last day. But I think, overall, Christians have lost sight of what Christmas really means. To have the Christmas spirit, you do not have to be Baptist or Catholic or even Christian. Christmas Spirit is about the spirit of giving. It's about being with family. It's about love. It's about the perfection of goodness and puting others before yourself. I do all that. I have all my life and not just in December. But this year I have stepped back and looked and have seen that it must really suck to be non-Christian in America this day in age. Everything you hear on the radio is a Christmas Carol. "Merry Christmas!" everyone says. I was disgusted with it up until tonight. Tonight I wept at that service. "I shouldn't be here. I don't belong," I thought to myself. And I didn't. I don't. Not yet at least. But I realized a couple things. The first being that "Merry Christmas" doesn't pertain as much anymore to the joys of Christ being born. It's a greating that makes us smile. Makes us feel warm inside. If that is the gift of our God then I thank him for it. Christmas is the time to watch the world, as we see it, come together, hold hands and sing. It's about unity and caring. "Merry Christmas" has love behind it. And secondly, I figured out that I'd be a damn good Christian if it wasn't for that whole Jesus as the Savior thing. Christians, look at yourselves and look at your lives. Are you an example of a good Christian or have you simply labeled yourself? Practice what has been taught to you. The Bible is filled with many wonderful lessons. But war, hatred, and greediness are not in there to be taught as right. Makes you wonder why so many Christians practice them... doesn't it? Regardless... Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
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